I Like What I Found! :D

I belong to an Anti-Twilight group on Facebook and on one of their discussion board has this topic called, "A reason why Meyer's vampires aren't vampires".

ONE MEMBER ADDED THIS IN AND I LOVE IT!

She's (Stephenie Meyers) never read a vampire novel before.

"Have you read Bram Stoker's Dracula?
No, but it's on the list. I should've read that one a long time ago, but right now I can't read any vampire novels. I tried, after I wrote Twilight, to read The Historian, because it was the big thing that summer. But I can't read other people's vampires. If it's too close [to my writing], I get upset; if it's too far away, I get upset. It just makes me very neurotic.

Is it true you've never seen a vampire movie?
I've seen little pieces of Interview with a Vampire when it was on TV, but I kind of always go YUCK! I don't watch R-rated movies, so that really cuts down on a lot of the horror. And I think I've seen a couple of pieces of The Lost Boys, which my husband liked, and he wanted me to watch it once, but I was like, It's creepy!"

Taken from here - INTERVIEW WITH VAMPIRE WRITER STEPHENIE MEYER

So like... She writes a novel on Vampires but has never read or thoroughly watched something with Vampires in it. Makes you wonder if she even researched her subject.

With her upcoming "mermaid" project as well, maybe she'll give them the ability to breathe and live on land. ;D

I like what I read! I really hate Twilight for that reason. Vampires aren't vampires because of Meyers. I really hate it.

I write a lot, too but at least I do my research first and I write about something I like. Meyer's own genre of vampire is just... not right... don't bother writing a vampire flick if you don't like vampires or if you think that vampires are scary.

OH MY GOD, SHE LIKES JANE AUSTEN! STICK TO ROMANCE PLEASE, DON'T BOTHER WITH VAMPIRES OR OTHER MYTHICAL CREATURES!

I rest my case.

Random Thoughts About The Fucking Past

When I think about it. For all those years, all they ever told me were lies. INCLUDING the people I trusted the most. Damn!

The person whom I thought was instigating me throughout the years was actually the one telling me the truth... As I noticed the truth, eventually, it was the other way around! The person I thought to be jealous was actually the person trying to save my butt.

Owh well. May those liars (including those whom I thought I could trust) find eternal 'solitude' within their guilt into playing with my heart.

Amin~!

Ranting About Toilet... Oops, Twilight...

About Twilight, Nuril and I had this conversation today. We should send Buffy or Sam and Dean to hunt Edward Cullen down!

Owh, another thing Nuril mentioned, vampires producing sperms? Aren't vampires supposed to be the undead? :D

HAHAHAHA! Damn, sorry Stephenie Meyers, I really hate the way you describe vampires. Gosh! Vampires are not vampires because of you. Research before you write... Writing about vampires sparkling in the sunlight like diamonds is like saying that a mermaid is actually half-octopus, half-woman or a satyr is half-chicken, half-man!

Sell out!

It Sucks To Be Me

I decided to use that as a title because it really sucks to be me because I realised some people tend to feel either threatened or easily offended or think that I don't know anything at all.

Wait a second. Who is the stupid one here? Me or them?

I discussed this with Akim and he said, "Them." His reason was simple. "They know nothing. That is why they feel that way."

Sadly for them, I agree.

In a way, I argued with someone on my Facebook because of Toilet... oops, sorry, Twilight. Look, my opinion is, Ms. Meyers despite trying to write something "original", made vampires lose their concept of being vampires. Vampires DIE when they are within the sunlight. NOT sparkle like diamonds. I think Buffy should stake Edward. Haha!

Die, Edward! Die!

Ms. Meyers' delivery on Edward as a vampire is just... unjust for a vampire. A friend of mine actually, indirectly, supported me by saying that that is today's vampires. That made the movie suck. Haha! Owh well. I still think, if you want to watch movies about REAL vampires one can try watching Interview With the Vampire or Underworld.

I know the terms saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinion but Ms. Meyers should respect or do a research on vampires OR realise that everything has its weaknesses. Why? Was Edward's weakness the whiny bitch named Bella? Not worth his time!

The other thing is, people are being bias, too. How is Edward Cullen any hotter than Cedric Gregory when they are actually the same person? Stupid, right? HAHAHA! Owh well. Prince Caspian is hotter than either one of them! Wait a second, vampire-wise, Lestat (Queen of the Damned) is way hotter than Edward!

It sucks to be me how? I know stuff and I like certain stuff to remain in their ORIGINAL form. Changing their concept won't make them ORIGINAL. You are MODIFYING - worst, DESTROYING THEIR ORIGINS!

I know for a fact that in Supernatural, they made vampires tougher but they still have weaknesses but they are still vampires. They don't fall weak for a human. Especially a whiny one like Bella! Jeez. And in Supernatural, those vampires still sleep in the day! They don't get exposed to sunlight. They still fear the sunlight!

It is like saying that a centaur, a half horse, half man is actually a half cow, half man! HAHA! Owh God! Or saying that a mermaid is actually half octopus half woman. It is like that. More or less.

The other thing is, people tend to get all conceited. I LOVE people like this. They are so easy to aim at. They are so easy to threat. How? They get threatened by words. It is worse when you actually take quotes from people like Tupac! Haha! Sad but true. Narrow-minded people like that still exist. They should get out from their coconut shell and live life a little. Do a research or investigate before saying it is a threat for them!

Yet, when I think about it, people who are easily threatened by things that are not meant for them are OBVIOUSLY guilty for something.

Hey, I am being who I am. After all, Tupac did say, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

When I think about it. It DOESN'T sucks to be me. IT SUCKS TO BE THEM! HAHA! Why does it sucks to be them? They know nothing they are defending for. Let me have mercy on them wet blankets then. NOT!

It sucks to be me because I know more than they do!

HA HA *sarcastic*

Annoyed

I am annoyed. Why? Everything seem overrated nowadays!

1. DSLR Cameras
   
2. Shuffling
   

It is annoying. Seriously.

I had my say.

Instinct

It was proven to me today that my instinct is quite reliable. It is amazing how my heart beat like a war drum can be a sign of something bad happening. For some kind of weird reason when I was around Hopoh today with Akim's cousin, I had a bad feeling. I was feeling nervous. I was feeling uneasy. I was worried... but I couldn't tell what was bothering my mind.

Only when I knew I couldn't stand it any longer, I had to text Akim and he called me. At first, I thought he accidentally dialed my number but with me taking precautions, I waited. Then he spoke on the phone calling for me. Before he called for me, I heard him talking to a Chinese guy, seriously. My first question was, "What's wrong?" and I didn't like the answer I got from him, "I got involved in an accident."

At first, I thought he was joking but with my damn instinct telling me it wasn't a joke, I told his cousin that he got involved in an accident. So, we went to meet him. I called Bob and Ijan and they said they would come by in 15 minutes or so.

When Kak Ina (Akim's cousin) and I arrived at the abandoned Esso petrol station at Petra Jaya, I didn't like what I saw:-

1) Akim's blood
2) broken rear window of a blue Kenari.

I went to him and hugged him. Only then my heart started beating like normal. Apparently, the car in front of him ramped on his brakes because of the person in front. Akim also had to make an emergency brake, and ended up hitting the Kenari. Thank God Akim had a fastened helmet on. The horror strike me when I saw the scratches on his helmet. What if he didn't have a helmet on?

I wanted so bad to cry but I had to be strong for Akim's sake. He was already in pain, I can tell but if I ended up crying my eyes out, he would get worried and it would cause him more pain.

I was relieved because he was okay. That mattered.

At the clinic, I waited for him and he said something which made me feel like hugging him and start crying (which I couldn't because I was trying hard to be strong)... He kept staring at me. "What if I had died?" he asked me. I was almost upset. "You are okay. THAT matters. Don't say things like that..." I told him firmly. "When it happened, I only thought of you..." I noticed tears in his eyes even before he said it. He cried while staring at me! All I could do was wipe his tears, kissed his forehead and smiled... Only then I found my voice to say (bravely), "As long as I am here with you and you are okay... that matters!"

Owh well. I am glad for one thing. Akim is okay and the other? I now know, I can trust my instinct. Also. I found someone I could have fun going out with. Kak Ina! :D

Honesty And Truth

I got this from Bob's bulletin on Friendster.

What is honesty?

* Honesty is telling the truth.
* Honesty is straightforward conduct.
* Honesty is being sincere, truthful, trustworthy, honorable, fair, genuine, and loyal with integrity.

8 great reasons to tell the truth

1. Telling the truth lets everyone know what really happened. There's less chances of misunderstandings, confusion, or conflict.
2. Telling the truth protects innocent people from being blamed or punished.
3. Telling the truth allows everyone to learn from what happened.
4. You usually get into less trouble for telling the truth than for lying (and getting caught).
5. Other people trust you more when you tell the truth.
6. You don't have to tell more lies to keep your story straight.
7. You gain a reputation for being truthful - a trait that most people value.
8. Telling the truth helps you feel secure and peaceful inside.

Life Filled With Borders

There is such a thing called a little private life. A little space. A personal space. Yet, when I keep my mouth shut, people tend to overstep the border of my life. My space. My room.

Have they no respect for me or anybody for that matter?

Hazie texted me today and her ex's girlfriend can't seem to stop bothering her... Hazie is young. Of course she will fight back.

Bob wants to get even but I thought of an approach for people like that (it is funny how you can actually settle someone's problem but can't never settle your own! *chuckles*).

We need to draw a borderline. If anyone overstep the line, the opposite party can do whatever. Owh well. I just hope most of the war I got myself into, I hope the opposite party overstep the border... as it is, there is a badger sniffing around my fence!

Just don't enter my boundary. That is all.

I am so sorry if I have hatred lurking within me. It is just me. I am not being a hypocrite in denying my hatred for people. Better be honest than being a hypocrite!

The Disadvantage Of Being Sugar High

Often keeps me awake! Even after sleep. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I will have some difficulty going back to sleep. Damn.

Gosh. I don't know what else to say about it except, I want to go back to sleep and I am hungry. SERIOUSLY.

I Am Obsessed!

I can't stop listening to Queen. Someone help me.

I found Somebody to Love at Pop Wave and damn, I need and I want to memorise that song so I can sing it comfortably! HAHA!

HEHEHE! Owh well.

Threatened?

When I think about it, I think, SOME people are threatened at the fact that I am in a relationship with Akim... I feel strongly about it because today SOMEONE sent me a message asking (again) about Akim.

Why should they bother? I have NOTHING to do with that bastard, why should my relationship with Akim be such a bother to them? Why should they be so curious about my relationship with Akim? What the hell is their problem? It is not like I nose into that bastard's married life! I don't bloody care if he died in an accident or if he got circumsized for the thousandth time or if some gangster had beaten him up or something. I. DON'T. FUCKING. CARE. If he is dead OR alive for that matter. Akim is getting annoyed at the fact that that family can't seem to stop bugging the two of us on Friendster OR Facebook! I don't mind it if they want to know if wasn't for that silly controversy over a picture in Friendster! First time, I could forgive. From that bastard's siblings and mother, I don't give a damn. Just don't spread the bloody thing to other family members! It pissed me off when that bastard's cousin saw one particular picture in my handphone and said, "That is the picture I saw on the Internet!"

That ticked me. That made me angry! That was enough to fill my heart with hate and disrespect! Akim have been trying to calm me down about it but I don't let go easily. They better be lucky Akim is the type to teach me to cool down and to respect people. UNLIKE THAT BASTARD! I always hear that bastard raise his voice at his own mother! Wow! That is a good son, huh? FUCKTARD!

Seriously. It is best if you leave me and Akim alone... people wanting to know about me and him is actually an invitation to trouble. I don't like my love life being disturbed. I hate it when there is someone bothering my love life. If you are jealous, tell to our faces. If you don't want either one of us to be happy, tell to our faces. If you think it is a threat, tell to our faces.

But I think, in my case with THAT family, they are sore at the fact that I found someone. Yeah, who were the ones who said things like, "Lak kau akan temu orang bagus gik dari Maman!" (You will find someone better than Maman). Hello? I found someone WAY BETTER than that BASTARD (he is, no denial - all cheaters are bastards, if not - LOWER than a bastard!) So? What is the bloody fuss?

I also remember that I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD THAT BASTARD, I DIDN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM and just the other day, his mother told Akim, that HE BROKE UP WITH ME! I was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?" LIES AND MORE LIES!

Owh well. I am going to leave this post here. I will blog later. I dare tell people about this case because I know one thing, I am the victim. I never wanted to go back into a relationship with him. It was HIM who wanted me (or my money) so badly. Mother fucker that he is.

People

Why can't people just learn to mind their own business? I just don't get it. Why are they so curious about Akim? Why must they bother with our lives when we have NOTHING to do with them?

Fuck! Why can't they just mind their own business and not bother other people's life with their curiousity.

The question that is racing through my mind is, why are they so interested to know about Akim? Is it a point to get me? Damn! Fuck it. I can't seem to put my foot down without them trying to mind my life.

Isk~

I Fare Ye Adieu 2008 And Welcome 2009

2008 is ending.

For me. 2008 began like shit. I was suffering. I was in pain. I hated life at the beginning. Too many series of event happened of which I hated.

The end of 2008, is sailing smoothly although there were some storms.

I am not going to make any resolutions because I know I don't keep them. I tend to forget what my resolutions are.

But.

I have hopes. I hope 2009 will be awesome. I started a new chapter in my life-novel. I hope. No one is there to burn the pages... Owh well. Hope they will suffer. That is all I hope for.

Thanks, for all the pain you people had given me. All the best!

Overrated-ness

I hate it. Nowadays, it is Twilight this. Twilight that. It is annoying. Especially, Edward Cullen! IT IS ANNOYING! People think Stephenie Meyer writing that book is the best thing. I DISAGREE. I didn't like it. Ms. Meyer made vampires unvampire-like... Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight... Vampires DIE when they are exposed to the sun!

The other thing is.. owning a DSLR. If you are into photography, I don't mind. I don't care. You are serious about it but if... you own a DSLR just because it is just another camera to you.. Why bother? I know of someone who uses a DSLR ONLY to take pictures of HERSELF. Bloody hell. Just because guys thinks that a girl looks cool owning one? Why bother spending more than RM1,000 for a camera you are not going to use for the purpose of other things else in photography rather than only self-portraiture?

Over The Week

What happened? I had been angsty! And... most of all, I had been feeling rather musical. I didn't stop listening to Hairspray, Mamma Mia! and many others.

In Hairspray, I love Queen Latifah's voice in this song called I Know Where I've Been.

There's a light
In the darkness
Though the night
Is black as my skin
There's a light
Burning bright
Showing me the way
But i know where i've been

There's a cry
In the distance
It's a voice
That comes from deep within
There's a cry
Asking why
I pray the answer's up ahead
'Cause i know where i've been

There's a road
We've been travelin'
Lost so many on the way
But the riches
Will be plenty
Worth the price we
Had to pay

There's a dream
In the future
There's a struggle
That we have yet to win
And there's pride
In my heart
'Cause i know
Where i'm going
And i know where i've been

There's a road
We must travel
There's a promise
We must make
'Cause the riches
Will be plenty
Worth the risk
And chances that we take
There's a dream
In the future
There's a struggle

We have yet to win
Use that pride
In our hearts
To lift us up
Until tomorrow

'Cause just to sit still
Would be a sin

I know it, i know it
I know where i'm going

And lord knows i know..
Where i've been

Oh! When we win,
I'll give thanks to my god
'Cause i know where i've been

Lyrics are nice, too. I hadn't really stopped listening to Abba songs, too! I even downloaded METAL TRIBUTE to Abba! It is amazing. It sounds wonderful! It sounds like a gospel but heck, it is just a song.

I am downloading as many albums as possible because after tonight, I will get slow Internet connection! Damn it. I am already pampered by the hotel Internet connection! I love it! It is fast! Argh! I can download an album in less than an hour!

And... I saw Boyzone's latest video... Better. VERY POWERFUL. Stephen has a guy as his partner in the video. Hey, I admire him for that! Why? He came out. He is not being a hypocrite. Owh well. I have nothing against homosexuals because it is their rights. They have their rights to be whatever they want to be. So? Who are we to stop them? ;)

No Use For A Tudong

Have you ever seen a girl wearing a tudong (hijab) but wearing sleeveless? I have. Or heard about one girl wearing a tudong, but smokes cigarettes? I have.

The thought of it makes me angry. The thought of it makes me feel like killing girls like that. Why bother wearing a tudong if you were to wear a sleeveless or smoke? Gosh. Talking about being a hypocrite.

Just a thought actually. Hehe!

Something Bad About Jaja

I realised, I don't let go of people's words easily. I am not one to let go. It's been months since I was lied to about a certain bastard. I still remember everything that he told me, everything he had said to me or about me.

My point is... this is not about him alone now... it is about a relative of mine. My Mum's sister. I did something of the nasty yesterday when I met her. I didn't talk to her or look at her. The things she told my elder sister about Athena still burns within me. I remember that day when Mummy called me, I was driving telling me about it. Damn. I nearly got involved in an accident when I heard about it. I was angry with her remarks about Athena. "You should change the name... because when she dies, she won't be accepted into Heaven..."

HELLO! My elder sister brought the poor thing into the world and you got the cheek to say such things to my sister who was still under confinement? Damn, Woman... that baby is NOT YOURS OR YOUR MR-KNOW-IT-ALL SON! I truly lost all respect to her and my cousin for saying such things. Athena is a beautiful name. If my sister's husband's cousin, who is an USTAZ can say, "Kacak nama!" ("Pretty name!") Look!?! A man who is religious... a man who teaches ISLAM compliment the name Athena!

I never let go of those words. Aqeem have been asking me to let go but I can't seem to forgive my aunt for that.

My cousin? I've not spoken to her for 7 years just because she betrayed me. She said she would mend my almost broken relationship with Amer but she never did. She use something on him, she took him for herself. Here, in some ways, I am glad it happened because Amer and I are never meant for each other... Yet, with the anger 7 years ago, I never spoke to her. I couldn't forgive her. I never let go.

I NEVER let go a grudge. It is bad. It is never wise to mess with me. I don't let go easily.

Something To Rant About

I don't get people. I don't want to criticise or mention names but then, I have to since I hate what happened yesterday. Yesterday, I opened up my Facebook and received a wall post from Maman's sister-in-law ONLY to tell me she uploaded my USELESS EX'S wedding pictures~! Do I look like I am bloody interested to see his wedding pictures? I don't give a damn if he is dead or alive! What kills me is he hurted me in the past... why should I bother? I am not interested. As long as I am happy and he is happy, so what?

Maybe her intention was harmless but at least RESPECT ME as your brother-in-law's ex... the victim of your brother-in-law. Okay, here is the ACTUAL story. Maman can tell bullshit to his mother and family, I don't give a damn. Everything that had happened between me and him... the thing I am going to blog about... is NOT lies. If it was, I have witnesses who can tell how I suffered when I was with Maman!

It was during the fasting month when he wanted to meet up with me... so I went, thinking I could just let him go once and for all or even mend our broken relationship but if he mentioned anything about money, I will let go... or deceive him... resorting him to let me go...

So, when I met him, he was crying his eyeballs out saying he wanted me back and in order for me to get back to him and for him to let go of his fiancee, I must give him RM3,000. THAT WAS IT. I was going to deceive him by saying I would look for it but do nothing about it. He wanted me for money. No more. No less. Fucktard! And what was the reason he asked for the RM3,000? He owed the girl money! BULLSHIT! (as I recently found out, he sold Ejah's scooter for RM3,000 - so the damn money was for him to get married! Fucker! I am not stupid like you!)

The night before Raya, I was at Memories, Padungan with Juliana when again Maman called... asking me to return back and asking for the RM3,000. I was angry. Juliana is my witness for this one. Again, I said I didn't want to provide the money. If he had loved me, he wouldn't ask for the money! So, I told him, I was sure about breaking up with him and I didn't want to be with him anymore. I had enough. He wasn't worth my heart if he wants only money from me.

Raya, I met Akim. THANK GOD. I had already blogged about Akim and I... so, I am not going to talk about it any further. A week after I had gotten into a relationship with Akim, Maman instigated me about Akim. Fucking hell. I don't even want to remember what he did to me that made me hate him so much. I didn't have any grudges until that incident with the DSLR! Fucker that he is. Owh well. People like him should just die of hunger. They have no effort to find their own money... they rely on others. Owh well. Wishing MAMAN all the BEST...

Thanks for ruining my fucking life, Fucker. Thanks a bunch!

Second Month Anniversary

Today... our second month together! :D Let me begin with this...

Raya 'o8 would probably be the nicest of all the Rayas I have celebrated. Normally. I would dread 2nd day of Raya! The 2nd day of Raya always meant many people coming to the house. Endless hustle and bustle. I hated 2nd day of Raya.

This year, 2008... I was minding my own business hoping that no one would come until I got a phone call from Jay asking if I was at home. I told him I was since it was my open house day! So, he told me that a few of them were coming. Then, I heard Ijan's voice. [NOW, Ijan and Jay were my friends since 2004 and these are the two who often helped me whenever I had problems, so they are considered the good guys on my book and for FOUR years of knowing them, I never had any betrayal from them...] I told Jay that it was okay since there was almost no one at the house.

They came with 4 other people... a girl and three other boys. We sat outside, talked. Served them drinks and I noticed one of them had this tee shirt which I found rather amusingly stupid... what was on the tee shirt? Internation Symbol for Fuck You. I was tempted to tear that tee shirt off that guy's body. Yet, with him there smiling at me, I took out the forgive-and-forget rule. It was just a shirt. But still. So, I invited them in to eat. Since I had my dinner earlier, I sat down at the couch which was in the dining room and talked to them while they ate.

Ijan asked me if I was still with M and I told him that I was happily single. Then I showed them the stupid scar on my left arm. The guy wearing that crude tee shirt then said, "All guys are the same... they are only after one thing... after they get that one thing, they ending up hurting the girl's feelings... even if she was honest with him!" I was shocked. For a moment there, everyone was quiet then I managed to say, "Won't a girl be lucky if she could have a guy like you?" That guy looked at me then looked down at his plate. Then it was silence.

After eating, we went outside to the living room and talked... got restless, we all went outside and talked again... When we were sitting outside, I attacked Ijan since I found some pictures on his Friendster which kinda pissed me off. So Mr. Crude Tee Shirt assured me that he will look after Ijan for me and he asked for my number in case Ijan were to do anything stupid, he would contact me. I gave him my number.

He contacted me the very next day. I was surprised and to think I was in a bad mood, at least there was someone to actually text. So, I got to know him. I was finding pleasure in texting this guy name Akim. He was fun to contact. I was happy when I texted him considering I was angry at the fact that I couldn't go out that day! On that same day also, he confessed something to me which made me quite unhappy and I knew I instigated him about it. He told me he fell in love with some girl. She had Chinese looks and she was super socialised. He told me also his friends introduced her to him. I instigated him not all girls could be trusted. I had to admit, I was quite jealous but then... I kept things to myself since I didn't say much.

A few days after Raya, I contacted Akim again. But there was no reply from him at all. I got bored. Life went by normally. Until one day, I was hanging out with Mirul and told him I was in the mood to karaoke. So, I called Ijan up asking him what time was he heading for work at Pop Wave II. Then, I heard in the background people making noise so I asked Ijan who it was and Ijan told me it was Akim. I INSISTED on talking to Akim! Over the phone, as excited as I was, I screamed at him for disappearing and he laughed. He told me he didn't have credit to sms me back. He will contact me once he has credit and he will add me to his Friends and Family.

I told him then I insist him to meet me at Pop Wave II. He said he will be there. I was getting excited to actually laugh with him since he was a fun guy to be with. So, Mirul and I went to Pop Wave II... Ijan and Bob came first. I didn't see Akim. I was about to get excited when this guilty looking guy came in. It was Akim! When asked why and he said he wanted to malinger from work. So, he did.

We karaoked and I got teased by him. I felt like strangling him but at the same time I was happy he did because he made me laugh. I tortured him with some songs, too. I made my selection and when I did he screamed his head out. It was fun.

We karaoke-d till 8 something until I asked him for help to go with me to Demak and send Mirul home. I was afraid to go alone so I dragged him along. We talked and I realised, for some kind of weird reason, I was falling for him but I kept things to myself... I was nervous and I knew one thing he kept looking at me.

When I sent him back to Pop Wave II, I felt slightly bored. I wanted to spend more time with him but I knew I had to go off since I promised that I would hang out with Kak Finie since she was feeling rather depressed.

Akim and I kept in touch after then he decided to just disappear. Again. Once again, I felt like something was missing in my life. Until one day, I contacted Jay and Ijan wondering if we could all hang out or something... in the back of my mind, there was a different agenda. I wanted to find Akim. I wanted to be with him. I wasn't desperate but I wanted someone I could laugh with. He was always very entertaining. I had to admit, I missed him. So, in the morning, I kidnapped Jay and then I told him I wanted to kidnap both Ijan and Akim.

When Jay directed me to Akim's place, his scooter wasn't at home and Jay went in and asked about Akim came back to the car said, he wasn't home. I was disappointed. "We will try again later, Jay!" I told him. Jay agreed. So we decided to kidnap Ijan next. When I took Ijan, we went to Akim's place. Again! No luck. This time, I was both worried and disappointed. The question racing through my mind was, 'Where is he?'

When Jay, Ijan and I were sitting at Siang Siang at 3rd Mile, Jay asked me an interesting question. "Between us four, who will get married first?" Ijan was busy with his kolo mee and I said, "Hm, Jay. There is only the three of us here. Why four?" Then Jay said, "You. Me. Ijan and Akim!" And I said coolly; "As far as I am concerned, I am the ONLY one who is still single among us!" And this Ijan said, "Ja, correction. Akim is also single." I looked down, blushing. Then I took the courage to say, "Well, if that is the case, I think you and Jay will get married first because you guys are not single! Haha!" Jay looked at me and said, "You will be surprised." Those words alone kept me thinking. I didn't want to think more about it except that I kind of wished Akim was around to back me up.

I got worried but then I was getting busy over the week end since it was Athena's Adat Bercukur.

The end of the week came. It was a Monday, October 27th 2008. I was driving to Batu Kawa to fetch Imelda who needed help when I received a text message and it was from Akim! I was so happy to see his text! Most of the time, I was texting him and I did try to get him to meet up with me... and as a cover after helping Imelda out, I was cruising around Petra Jaya area.

At one point, he asked me where I was at so, I told him I was around Petra Jaya and he told me to meet up at Masja since I was nearby. So, I went. I bought stuff to drink and eat first since I was hungry and my appointment with Juliana was around 3 something. So, when I was driving to Masja, I realised I was followed by a scooter. He had a sleazy smile on his face when he saw me. He was stalking me! And when I parked, I saw the familiar smile.

The hair! I was expecting to see a guy with yellow hair! Not black mohawk like hair! The smiled shot the Cupid's arrow into my heart! Damn! That was when I realised it was Akim as he parked behind me. We sat. Talked. Me, when it come to getting nervous, I can't seem to keep still. Until Juliana contacted me saying she needed a delay. So, as much as I showed dismay on my face, I was leaping for joy!

When the time came, Juliana was already at Pop Wave and I was sitting with Akim talking. I had to go off. I was a wee bit upset when I offered him, he said 'no' since he had to do something.

Finally, he asked the question after a thousand text messages. For the life of me, I cannot remember how I reacted but I was happy. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read the text message. I accepted him with new hope.

Basically, that is how we came to be. Hope he would be better than Maman. Actually. He IS better than Maman despite his black history! He proved to me a lot of things.. but I cannot be too over confident. I need to stay on the safe side also. I am still doubtful. I still have my uncertainty~ after all, it's been only 2 months. I was deceived for 3 years. Yet. Now, at least Akim tells and shows me everything he does. He admits he drinks and so forth. So. This much I can tell... he is NOT a hypocrite. Like Maman, who claimed that he doesn't drink alcohol anymore or have any girls behind my back but still do all those and still have scandals... owh well. Pity his wife. Hope she is stronger than me. All the best, Girl. I am HAPPIER WITHOUT Maman. I can still have male friends but then I still limit my distant with them although Akim doesn't mind yet I still have to take care of his trust.

Unpleasant Surprise

MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hate the ungrateful people at Demak... that CONSTITUENCY... THEY ARE SO FUCKING UNGRATEFUL!!

FUCKER!! FUCKER!! FUCKER!!

Hope that BLOGGER dies a painful death! Fuck!

Low Respect

Seriously, when I think about it, I cannot believe I used to care about people who are actually hypocrites. In front of you they act like an Angel. They talk good about you. They praise you. They worship you. They lick your ass when in front of you...

Yet, behind you... everything they've ever said in front of you, turns the other way around.

I have very low respect for that person despite me telling people how I used to respect that person. She doesn't deserve the respect I gave her. Why? She is a liar and a hypocrite!

Owh well. Hope KARMA is there to bite her back! Yeah~~~~~~~~~~

The Keribang Clan's Principle

I know the Keribang Clan really love this song by Tupac. It's called Runnin'. The more I listen to that song... the more I love the chorus...

You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing in sight
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die

Pretty much the truth..

However, our principle is we are YOUNG. we are DUMB. but we have HEART.

We stand together. If one person is being fucked with, the whole clan is being fucked with... that is what being a clan or a family means... No doubt these guys have some dark history behind them but heck, we all do. We all have dark histories behind us.

Whatever it is... we are a clan. We are a family. We are the Keribang Clan. Hehe!

Smiling As A 'Sedekah' (Alms)?

I forgot to rant about this. I find this a wee bit sickening among our Malaysian society. I hate people for this especially the bloody Malays!

SCENARIO 1
You are walking along, minding your own business and you see a few people. You smile at them. They ending up LAUGHING AT YOU and they were two Malay girls wearing tudongs. If they smile back, it is nothing but to think that they actually LAUGH AT YOU. What the hell? How would you feel if some people were to do this to you? You don't know what wrong did you do... somehow, you will feel offended.

SCENARIO 2
Again. You walk along and you smile at a person but that person doesn't even smile at you! And again that person is a MALAY.

Damn. Where is the sole meaning of, smiling as a sedekah? Haiya.

Tip For Drinkers Who Are Not Like Me! HAHA!

Tip for drinkers:- once you feel light headed, it means you are getting tipsy. What you do...? STOP DRINKING to avoid any disaster! Once you stop, you are bound to stay out of trouble but if you are still tempted by the drink, immediately look for something sour. Then you continue drinking. But if you want to forget the world, instead of skanking your way around, find a nice safe spot and sleep. That way you will not disturb anyone's sight by acting like a fool. This applies to people who can't seem to control themselves. If you have strong will power to control yourself, there is always, trying to keep your head straight. Don't think that you are drunk. Keep it to yourself. Don't overdo it.

Alcohol and Our Mind

Today... a lot of things have been happening. Interesting things actually... I admit. I had Absolut Vodka to fill my day today. I admit because I am being honest with myself and with other people around me. In case you didn't know, yes, I can drink... but I had never gotten drunk... I know my limitations when it comes to alcohol.

These are my thoughts on alcohol. I have LOW RESPECT for people who:-

1. Claims to be a non-drinker but...
   
   Just like that fucktard when we were in a relationship once upon a time. He tells me he doesn't drink but he does... Liar, liar pants on fire, bastard... if you drink, just admit you do. Don't just say you don't when you actually do. If it was just liqueur, I have no objections because liqueur isn't like beer. It doesn't bloat you the way beer does. Beer contains yeast and it is super bitter... when it gets flat... it gets shitty. Seriously shitty.
   
   
2. Can't seem to control themselves...
   
   I hate people who can't get a grip of themselves when they get tipsy. It is like as if they are trying to show off when they get drunk. They overact when they get drunk. They behave unappropriately. The guys will act like they own the bloody world... they will think that they are tough... the girls will act like prostitutes! I know it is almost unavoidable to get drunk for certain people but I've heard of cases where guys tend to get drunk and then attempt to beat other people up. Hello? Heard of self-control? Don't let the alcohol conquer your mind! If you let it conquer your mind, you are bound to lose yourself. Damn. Talking about weak self control! DAMN! DAMN!

Aqeem sms-ed me earlier telling me about (name 1) getting drunk and attempted to beat (name 2) up. I was pissed. Why? (Name 1) can't seem to get a whole on himself! It made me laugh thinking about this. The people around Aqeem can't seem to have any strong will control! I had been drinking since morning and yet, I am still normal. I can still think. I can still walk straight. I can still think rationally. Why is it, that some people can't do the same? Are they so weak that they can't seem to control themself? Damn!