Smile even when you are hurting because when you smile you take the pain away from someone who is in severe pain.
Smile even when you are sad because when you smile you make someone's day bright.
I pretty much am feeling rather down and tired. Yet, I beat myself up.
I feel like I am falling apart. I don't know why. It had been a great day today despite the sudden feeling of frustrations. I wish I knew why.
It feels like... I am falling into this bottomless pit... Not knowing what is the fate I have when I finally reach the bottom. Damn, I hate August and September. Both months are bad months for me. I wish I could just get out of class tomorrow or even skip class tomorrow just to let myself go. Just to scream my heart out!
Anyway, I have been addicted to this song (originally by Queen) but I happened to like this version by American Idol, Carly Smithson.
Empty spaces - what are we living for?
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score..
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are looking for?
Another hero - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!
Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.
Another heartache - another failed romance.
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess i'm learning
I must be warmer now..
I'll soon be turning round the corner now.
Outside the dawn is breaking,
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free!
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on! Yeah!
Ooh! Inside my heart is breaking!
My make-up may be flaking!
But my smile, still, stays on!
Yeah! oh oh oh
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die,
I can fly, my friends!
The Show must go on! Yeah!
The Show must go on!
I'll face it with a grin!
I'm never giving in!
On with the show!
I'll top the bill!
I'll overkill!
I have to find the will to carry on!
On with the,
On with the show!
The Show must go on.
I like this song. It is beautiful. The meaning, I mean. Damn, it is raining. The damn neighbour is firing those stupid air bomb things.
The rain. Representing my mood. My emotions. My tears. Only. I am not crying... I can't cry. The sudden sadness rushed through me. I have two wonderful friends (Seryna and Juliana) online to keep me entertained... :)
Good God, we are having this conversation about lesbianism. I think, I will end up lesbian. I am getting tired of the lies guys tell me. I am getting tired of the way they deceit me. When I am faithful, I am the one getting hurt at the end of the day... Maybe by being lesbian, my girlfriend would understand me. Yet. No one can be trusted these days.
I yet to find someone:--
- Who will take me for who I am.
- Who will love me for me and honestly.
- Who makes me smile when I am sad.
- Who catches me when I fall.
- Who catches my tears when it falls.
- Who actually cares for me when I am jaded or sick.
- Who misses me even we've met earlier on.
- Who will look for me when I disappear.
- Who appreciates my existence; and
- Who assures me that I am the only one he loves.......
I wish I can find someone with those criterias but there is no such thing as a Prince Charming or the Mr. Perfect. We all make mistakes. Some mistakes which causes the heart to get only a few scratches. Some mistakes which causes the heart to bleed continously.
Recently, my heart was stabbed and left to bleed. Only when it was too late, after stitching my own wounds, he comes with a band-aid. He is too late... My reminder remains on my left arm. The stupid thing I did. The prove of my loyalty. My only regret.
I am depressed. I am beating myself up with all these thoughts. I actually have another secret. I am hiding a very important secret from someone... I don't intend to tell him yet. Let it be only some of those who knows me well, know about it. This includes my younger sister.
I don't know what else to say... It is raining heavily and it distrupting my wireless... Owh well. I got to go now. I think I want to sleep. I got class at 9 am... and I don't intend to skip classes. I need to get through! LLB is no joke. Damn!
