The truth was told today. It hurt me. He hurt me more. He knew it. Despite the mouth of others, he shouldn't have done what he did to me. He should have told me straight to the point. I would have known what to do. Instead, he hurt me so badly, I learnt to hate him.
TODAY, he HAD to tell me everything that had happened. Fucking hell, it killed me. I was so tempted to just take something sharp and slash him at the throat like how Sweeney Todd did! Why is it when it was too late, he come out of his closet?
He can try stealing my heart but it is not his anymore. Someone else stole it already. It hurts me because when I left him, I still cared only I was hurt. Now when I feel like I don't care, he comes out to clean his sins. Stupid!
Why must he hurt me so badly today? *sighs* I had enough of tears. I don't want anymore tears. I want to be happy. I want someone else to add to my happiness. I want... what I deserve most. Laughter.
I hope my next decision is correct. I don't want to end up in pain. I want him to be happy. I want my happiness. Though after 3 years being together but... for a year and a half, I was left to die alone but I survived. He explained to me he did what he did because he didn't want me to get involved in the heap of problems he was facing.
Why did you do what you did? Why didn't it occur to you I would turn around and walk away from you? Why...? Why didn't you think, by beating my heart up, you would end up losing someone who truly loved you? Why didn't you consider my feelings back then and only decide to consider my feelings now? Why didn't you listen to me in the first place when you knew I was trying to save you? And... most of all... why only now, you realise that you friends were only after your money? But not your friendship?
There is nothing I can do anymore. You lost me. It is not my fault and you actually dropped your ego to admit that. Brave thing to do. OR, did you realise that because I got stronger, I would challenge your ego?
I may still care but I don't care if you don't in any means or ways. Too many memories of you and me. Most were bad. Most makes me cry. Most makes me feel like begging to God that I want Death more than anything else... I loved but I wasn't loved in return.
NOW...
I may have fallen in love with someone else but... I don't think he has the same feeling towards me. I don't expect much from him but I wish I knew how he felt for me. And now, I had fallen out of love with you and I had fallen in love with him.
You said you won't find another after me. You can lie to me to make me feel good that I made you the way you are now but if you were willing to hurt me when you were in a relationship with me, there is no doubt for you to actually get into another relationship a few minutes after I left your heart. I had waited for you... but you never came. You only came when you were too late... you came when I stopped loving you.
I remembered what I said, "I'll wait for you" but keep in mind, I can't wait forever.. especially after getting my heart beaten up so badly... I was cursed at and I endured. I didn't get what I was looking for. I didn't get what I wanted. You know that I had been the most loyal of all the girls you've dated. The only one who endured everything despite being cursed at and other things.
Things. Happened for a reason. I am glad you claim to regret. You deserved it. Hope you will learn from that but you gave a bad impression to many friends of mine. So, it is hard for me to accept you back into my life. You caused me so much pain. It is only fair, I do the same.
TODAY, he HAD to tell me everything that had happened. Fucking hell, it killed me. I was so tempted to just take something sharp and slash him at the throat like how Sweeney Todd did! Why is it when it was too late, he come out of his closet?
He can try stealing my heart but it is not his anymore. Someone else stole it already. It hurts me because when I left him, I still cared only I was hurt. Now when I feel like I don't care, he comes out to clean his sins. Stupid!
Why must he hurt me so badly today? *sighs* I had enough of tears. I don't want anymore tears. I want to be happy. I want someone else to add to my happiness. I want... what I deserve most. Laughter.
I hope my next decision is correct. I don't want to end up in pain. I want him to be happy. I want my happiness. Though after 3 years being together but... for a year and a half, I was left to die alone but I survived. He explained to me he did what he did because he didn't want me to get involved in the heap of problems he was facing.
Why did you do what you did? Why didn't it occur to you I would turn around and walk away from you? Why...? Why didn't you think, by beating my heart up, you would end up losing someone who truly loved you? Why didn't you consider my feelings back then and only decide to consider my feelings now? Why didn't you listen to me in the first place when you knew I was trying to save you? And... most of all... why only now, you realise that you friends were only after your money? But not your friendship?
There is nothing I can do anymore. You lost me. It is not my fault and you actually dropped your ego to admit that. Brave thing to do. OR, did you realise that because I got stronger, I would challenge your ego?
I may still care but I don't care if you don't in any means or ways. Too many memories of you and me. Most were bad. Most makes me cry. Most makes me feel like begging to God that I want Death more than anything else... I loved but I wasn't loved in return.
NOW...
I may have fallen in love with someone else but... I don't think he has the same feeling towards me. I don't expect much from him but I wish I knew how he felt for me. And now, I had fallen out of love with you and I had fallen in love with him.
You said you won't find another after me. You can lie to me to make me feel good that I made you the way you are now but if you were willing to hurt me when you were in a relationship with me, there is no doubt for you to actually get into another relationship a few minutes after I left your heart. I had waited for you... but you never came. You only came when you were too late... you came when I stopped loving you.
I remembered what I said, "I'll wait for you" but keep in mind, I can't wait forever.. especially after getting my heart beaten up so badly... I was cursed at and I endured. I didn't get what I was looking for. I didn't get what I wanted. You know that I had been the most loyal of all the girls you've dated. The only one who endured everything despite being cursed at and other things.
Things. Happened for a reason. I am glad you claim to regret. You deserved it. Hope you will learn from that but you gave a bad impression to many friends of mine. So, it is hard for me to accept you back into my life. You caused me so much pain. It is only fair, I do the same.
