Just as when I thought today would be peaceful, today seem to be the day where I lost my mind. I lost patience to those around me. I am not going to tell what triggered my mood today because the thought of it makes me angry. The thought of it hurts my brain.
Don't think it was easy for me to smile today. It wasn't. I was okay earlier in the day until that fateful text message. Bloody hell. That pissed me off. I was so angry I was shaking. I was so angry, I heard my heart beating rapidly. I was so angry, I didn't sound like myself.
I know. Lately, I have been angry and angsty. All because of the thought of one person. He told lies about me... and I never knew until I heard all about it from someone... Someone who's been watching my ass all this while.
Damn. I never felt such a nasty backstab in my entire life. I trusted the bastard. I respected him. And this is the payment I get? Despite of everything? THIS IS MY PAYMENT? Why not? Lie to everyone about me. Go full speed ahead. I don't give a damn. But remember this my friend, there is such thing as KARMA. Why am I not surprised that it was you who spread lies about me in front of someone I really have feelings for? Seriously. Why does my instinct tell me that it was YOU who sabotaged my life?
It is okay...
I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing. - Shakespeare's King Lear (Act 3. Scene 2) - correct me if I am wrong. Please. Thanks.
What else can I do anyway? If I take action, I will sink down to his level. I don't want that. I can rant all about it now. Yet, I am unhappy at the fact that he 'abuses' his priority as the stronger gender. I hate that. We, females, are human, too. We have feelings. So? Don't hurt us as if we don't have feelings. Jeez.
Hoping tomorrow will be better than any other day. I might want to do things I never thought of doing. I think. Yet, with my rotten mood. Nothing is bound to happen for the better.
I have been erupting like an active volcano and I noticed it all. I am not allowed to be happy. For instance, today. Honestly, I was actually feeling better despite the whole angsty weekend. The moment I know that my day was sweet, shit happened. The last text from that person truly made me lost my limitation in patience. I had to reply in a rude manner. I was getting sick.
I may look harmless but then don't even bother challenging my guts. Or my anger. It is not serious business. I can go on hating someone till the day I die. It is bad enough I hadn't forgiven my cousin for more than 7 years already! My own cousin. Why? Because she spread lies about me at the driving academy. It's been 7 years and the deceitful words still ring in my head...
So, THIS incident will leave a scar on me. Thank God it is invisible. That guy, he claims no one know who he is. He has NO IDEA who I can be. I am not trying to sound great but I am pretty much a vengeful person.
"UnIslamic" as my Dad put it. I wish I was as forgiving as him... though I am my Dad's daughter. I am not a very forgiving person. Yeah, I do believe in 2nd chances but after the last straw. Don't think you would ever see the good side of me ever again.
AH! I think I need anti-depression pills. Or sedatives. I got to go now. I plan to try and sleep tonight. I didn't sleep a wink last night till around 5 something... I think I managed to get at least 2 hours sleep.
I need to try and sleep tonight. More laters. HOPE NO MORE RANTS. I NEED TO BE HAPPY.
Damn, when I stay out of trouble, trouble OFTEN come looking for me. What am I now? A TROUBLE-MAGNET? -__-"
Hehe!
Don't think it was easy for me to smile today. It wasn't. I was okay earlier in the day until that fateful text message. Bloody hell. That pissed me off. I was so angry I was shaking. I was so angry, I heard my heart beating rapidly. I was so angry, I didn't sound like myself.
I know. Lately, I have been angry and angsty. All because of the thought of one person. He told lies about me... and I never knew until I heard all about it from someone... Someone who's been watching my ass all this while.
Damn. I never felt such a nasty backstab in my entire life. I trusted the bastard. I respected him. And this is the payment I get? Despite of everything? THIS IS MY PAYMENT? Why not? Lie to everyone about me. Go full speed ahead. I don't give a damn. But remember this my friend, there is such thing as KARMA. Why am I not surprised that it was you who spread lies about me in front of someone I really have feelings for? Seriously. Why does my instinct tell me that it was YOU who sabotaged my life?
It is okay...
I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing. - Shakespeare's King Lear (Act 3. Scene 2) - correct me if I am wrong. Please. Thanks.
What else can I do anyway? If I take action, I will sink down to his level. I don't want that. I can rant all about it now. Yet, I am unhappy at the fact that he 'abuses' his priority as the stronger gender. I hate that. We, females, are human, too. We have feelings. So? Don't hurt us as if we don't have feelings. Jeez.
Hoping tomorrow will be better than any other day. I might want to do things I never thought of doing. I think. Yet, with my rotten mood. Nothing is bound to happen for the better.
I have been erupting like an active volcano and I noticed it all. I am not allowed to be happy. For instance, today. Honestly, I was actually feeling better despite the whole angsty weekend. The moment I know that my day was sweet, shit happened. The last text from that person truly made me lost my limitation in patience. I had to reply in a rude manner. I was getting sick.
I may look harmless but then don't even bother challenging my guts. Or my anger. It is not serious business. I can go on hating someone till the day I die. It is bad enough I hadn't forgiven my cousin for more than 7 years already! My own cousin. Why? Because she spread lies about me at the driving academy. It's been 7 years and the deceitful words still ring in my head...
So, THIS incident will leave a scar on me. Thank God it is invisible. That guy, he claims no one know who he is. He has NO IDEA who I can be. I am not trying to sound great but I am pretty much a vengeful person.
"UnIslamic" as my Dad put it. I wish I was as forgiving as him... though I am my Dad's daughter. I am not a very forgiving person. Yeah, I do believe in 2nd chances but after the last straw. Don't think you would ever see the good side of me ever again.
AH! I think I need anti-depression pills. Or sedatives. I got to go now. I plan to try and sleep tonight. I didn't sleep a wink last night till around 5 something... I think I managed to get at least 2 hours sleep.
I need to try and sleep tonight. More laters. HOPE NO MORE RANTS. I NEED TO BE HAPPY.
Damn, when I stay out of trouble, trouble OFTEN come looking for me. What am I now? A TROUBLE-MAGNET? -__-"
Hehe!
