Truly. I admire them! Haha! Owh well, I like to make sure I am confident with myself. Owh yeah, the reason why I started on with taking self-portraiture is because when I used to be with M, I was not allowed to post my pictures online. So, now, I don't give a damn. He can bitch and whine. I am happier without him. I've been ignoring his sms-es lately. Serves him right. He broke my heart. So? It is only fair if I treat him coldly.
Below is my latest picture. Believe it or not, I took this picture in the car. All I did was edit the picture to get such lighting. Haha! Thank you Photoshop CS3! :)
Actually, after that lighting course with Ted, I got deeper with photography... whether it was scenery or portraiture... I got in a bit too deep. I even experiment with my handphone and laptop as my light source. Haha! And it was that picture that caused a little controversy! Haha!
I can't help it if I was only experimenting or if I did gain a little confidence within myself. In a way, I am happier without M controlling me. I am not allowed to do anything where he was concerned... He locked me in a cage when he goes free. It is not fair. Really.
NOW. I don't give a damn. I can take pictures of whatever I want. I can take pictures of myself for all I care! I can go wherever WITHOUT him to distract me.
I can especially be like Narcissist... although I don't get too conceited about the way I look. I know I am not that good looking... if I was... gosh. I don't want to think about it. I am thankful with what I've got. As long as I am normal. I am okay and I thank God, I am not a 'giant'. Seriously.
Hm. On contrary to what the title says, I think I know why I feel so sick... not only due to the excitement yesterday but I would think that, I lack the rest I need. I have been sleeping late but waking up early... Lately, I have been waking up at 7 am. Or before 8 am. Free will. No alarm needed. I need enough sleep... but I can't... No matter how late I sleep nowadays, I will always wake up at 7 something!
I need more sleep. Don't I? Hm. I don't really care about myself. Why should I anyway? I don't think it matters anymore. As long as I keep myself on my feet, I would probably be fine.
I hope.
