.::. Let me tell you a story about a girl .::.
:: Her name was Airin. She had a difficult life. Her life was filled with only darkness. People tried to get her out but she didn't care. She was in love with someone who didn't appreciate her. His name was Zack. Airin was totally in love with Zack. It didn't matter to her if he hurt her so badly. It didn't matter if he had slept with other girls. She loved him. She even attempted several stupidity just for him. She did the extremes like drowning herself in tears. She had patience for him. She believed he would change. She was confident that he loved her sincerely enough to change just for her.
She was wrong.
For her, he didn't change. Airin went into mourning. She slashed herself just to watch herself bleed. She became suicidal. She didn't think that there was more to life. She only loved that bastard. She didn't stop to think that there were some people out there who cared for her. She didn't stop to think that physical scars are obvious. It won't disappear too easily. Instead, she liked the idea of blood dripping from her arm. She liked watching her flesh split, revealing not of red but of white flesh... She didn't feel nauseous. She felt pain. Intense pain in her heart but not on her arm.
Some 6 stitches later, she was still depressed. He still didn't care about her. He still chose to be with some girl he met in the club. She was left alone. She was hurt. She was hurt from her own patience. She wasn't happy nor chirpy as she used to be. She was always crying. She was always feeling down. She was always suicidal. She was always so sad till she often sigh to herself, "I should not exist..."
Then, God sent her someone to enter her life. His name was Jared. They started out as friends. She didn't see anything in him, because to Airin, her heart was owned by Zack. As Airin realizes that her own boyfriend didn't care about her, she decided to slowly give up. She had enough of asking questions on what Zack was up to. It was his choice to get instigated by his friends who was only using him and weren't sincere to him. She made up her mind to stop crying since she was tired of shedding tears.
Who was her shoulder to cry on? Jared. She didn't realize at first that she had feelings for Jared. Until a sign was sent to her through a dream. She realized that it was time to fall out of love with her useless bastard of a boyfriend... the guy who shattered her heart... the guy who she patiently waited for. She knew he lost her. She regretted for being patient and loyal despite all the heartache she suffered.
Jared was something else. Though he admit that he wasn't all that great but she felt like there was an adrenaline rush pumping into her body system everytime she met him. He was there when she needed him. He had always gave her the will to go on. Ever since, Airin, the sad depressed girl we read about earlier... became what she had wanted to be and what she used to be before meeting Zack.
She found her smile. She found some sunlight shining through her windows. It wasn't raining as heavily as it used to be. She had started laughing again. She was smiling happily again. Most of all, the songs she used to sing changed into a happier tune. She wished that it was permanent. Yet. Due to some circumstances, she feared. By telling Jared how she felt, all that would disappear and she would sit in the darkness again IF... she was clapping alone... she remain quiet about how she felt for him. She had fallen again... and wasn't sure if there was Jared to catch her when she fell. She didn't want risking losing someone who knew how she felt about her life. She didn't want risking another heartache.
She admitted, as days went by her and after her break up with Zack, she fell in love with Jared. She was willing to hurt herself by being afraid to tell him she had feelings for him. She was willing to hurt herself watching him smile at her. She was willing to remain silent and not blush when being around him.
Even when she fell for Jared, Zack often came back to her. She didn't want to hurt anymore where Zack was concerned. She didn't want him back because she knew if he did say he would change, he won't. He lost her. Only then he realized... her heart wasn't his anymore. She didn't trust him anymore. She didn't care for him anymore.
And all she wanted was to see that warm smile which made her heart leapt or made her heart sing when he talks to her. She didn't want to risk losing all that... instead, she was willing to kill herself asking, "how does he feel towards me?"... She knows, she will regret if she didn't go up to tell him... but what makes her fear more is, his reaction towards her after she had confessed... That is about the only risk, she will have to make but eventually, she need to put her thoughts into action before she is too late... all she did was, fell in love with someone else, and he was her saviour... ::
*sighs* enough stories for now... I need to sleep, another early headstart tomorrow. I am not much in a good mood... owh well.
She was wrong.
For her, he didn't change. Airin went into mourning. She slashed herself just to watch herself bleed. She became suicidal. She didn't think that there was more to life. She only loved that bastard. She didn't stop to think that there were some people out there who cared for her. She didn't stop to think that physical scars are obvious. It won't disappear too easily. Instead, she liked the idea of blood dripping from her arm. She liked watching her flesh split, revealing not of red but of white flesh... She didn't feel nauseous. She felt pain. Intense pain in her heart but not on her arm.
Some 6 stitches later, she was still depressed. He still didn't care about her. He still chose to be with some girl he met in the club. She was left alone. She was hurt. She was hurt from her own patience. She wasn't happy nor chirpy as she used to be. She was always crying. She was always feeling down. She was always suicidal. She was always so sad till she often sigh to herself, "I should not exist..."
Then, God sent her someone to enter her life. His name was Jared. They started out as friends. She didn't see anything in him, because to Airin, her heart was owned by Zack. As Airin realizes that her own boyfriend didn't care about her, she decided to slowly give up. She had enough of asking questions on what Zack was up to. It was his choice to get instigated by his friends who was only using him and weren't sincere to him. She made up her mind to stop crying since she was tired of shedding tears.
Who was her shoulder to cry on? Jared. She didn't realize at first that she had feelings for Jared. Until a sign was sent to her through a dream. She realized that it was time to fall out of love with her useless bastard of a boyfriend... the guy who shattered her heart... the guy who she patiently waited for. She knew he lost her. She regretted for being patient and loyal despite all the heartache she suffered.
Jared was something else. Though he admit that he wasn't all that great but she felt like there was an adrenaline rush pumping into her body system everytime she met him. He was there when she needed him. He had always gave her the will to go on. Ever since, Airin, the sad depressed girl we read about earlier... became what she had wanted to be and what she used to be before meeting Zack.
She found her smile. She found some sunlight shining through her windows. It wasn't raining as heavily as it used to be. She had started laughing again. She was smiling happily again. Most of all, the songs she used to sing changed into a happier tune. She wished that it was permanent. Yet. Due to some circumstances, she feared. By telling Jared how she felt, all that would disappear and she would sit in the darkness again IF... she was clapping alone... she remain quiet about how she felt for him. She had fallen again... and wasn't sure if there was Jared to catch her when she fell. She didn't want risking losing someone who knew how she felt about her life. She didn't want risking another heartache.
She admitted, as days went by her and after her break up with Zack, she fell in love with Jared. She was willing to hurt herself by being afraid to tell him she had feelings for him. She was willing to hurt herself watching him smile at her. She was willing to remain silent and not blush when being around him.
Even when she fell for Jared, Zack often came back to her. She didn't want to hurt anymore where Zack was concerned. She didn't want him back because she knew if he did say he would change, he won't. He lost her. Only then he realized... her heart wasn't his anymore. She didn't trust him anymore. She didn't care for him anymore.
And all she wanted was to see that warm smile which made her heart leapt or made her heart sing when he talks to her. She didn't want to risk losing all that... instead, she was willing to kill herself asking, "how does he feel towards me?"... She knows, she will regret if she didn't go up to tell him... but what makes her fear more is, his reaction towards her after she had confessed... That is about the only risk, she will have to make but eventually, she need to put her thoughts into action before she is too late... all she did was, fell in love with someone else, and he was her saviour... ::
*sighs* enough stories for now... I need to sleep, another early headstart tomorrow. I am not much in a good mood... owh well.
