M called me earlier today... wanting to meet me. Again. I gave an excuse. The thing is, I don't want to risk my heart being shattered by him again! I... cannot afford to feel the pain I endured for the longest time. Nope.
I won the battle. He apologised. I said, "okay..." but, I don't want to regret anymore. No more. Enough. I had enough. Seriously. I had enough. He apologised a bit too late. He realised his mistakes... yet, he was too late.
I cannot look at him the same way I used to. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't think I want to think about it. I know, I freed myself from my burden. I want to continue my studies. I want to forget the people around me (not all)...
Enough. I need to get out once in a while I want a peaceful state of mind. I want. Security. That is all. If M truly meant what he had said about being sorry? If he was as sad as he sounded when he called? I will give him more time but I will NOT accept him.
Bloody hell. What the fuck am I thinking?
Hey, I should remain strong. I should remain victorious. I better not surrender while I am victorious. SERIOUSLY!
Just thinking of all the hurt in the past makes me wonder. Damn. I am going to move forward now :) thanks to SOMEONE... who will never be or ever be.
I don't care. As long as I am alive...? That matters... and if the world do end in 2012? So be it. I checked the calendar, a disaster will happen... 21.12.12 and in the Quran, it is said that that the world will end on a Friday. I checked. It is a Friday. So, if the world ends by then, no more suffering made by OTHER people towards me or another human being... No more tears in this miserable world.
I am beginning to sound different.
Lots of reason why. Just don't bother asking because I am just wondering, what will happen tomorrow if today was a good and a bad day at the same time. It is called a SUDDEN MOOD SWING. Almost like sudden death but this is a mood swing. I was feeling great having a beautiful time of my life but now, it feels like nothing seem right. It all seems dark.
Owh well. LIFE. People tend to REGRET at the end of the day when they know they lose something that is VALUABLE in their lives the way M did! :)
*taunting away* I won a battle. I won a battle... and at the same time... did I win another? Or did I lose? I don't know. Seriously. I don't think I want to care. Just get out when I still can...
Yeap, that is all about it. I am hoping that KRU or someone I like would write a song about my miserable life. HAHAHA! Damn, I sound drunk, don't I? :D
I won the battle. He apologised. I said, "okay..." but, I don't want to regret anymore. No more. Enough. I had enough. Seriously. I had enough. He apologised a bit too late. He realised his mistakes... yet, he was too late.
I cannot look at him the same way I used to. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't think I want to think about it. I know, I freed myself from my burden. I want to continue my studies. I want to forget the people around me (not all)...
Enough. I need to get out once in a while I want a peaceful state of mind. I want. Security. That is all. If M truly meant what he had said about being sorry? If he was as sad as he sounded when he called? I will give him more time but I will NOT accept him.
Bloody hell. What the fuck am I thinking?
Hey, I should remain strong. I should remain victorious. I better not surrender while I am victorious. SERIOUSLY!
Just thinking of all the hurt in the past makes me wonder. Damn. I am going to move forward now :) thanks to SOMEONE... who will never be or ever be.
I don't care. As long as I am alive...? That matters... and if the world do end in 2012? So be it. I checked the calendar, a disaster will happen... 21.12.12 and in the Quran, it is said that that the world will end on a Friday. I checked. It is a Friday. So, if the world ends by then, no more suffering made by OTHER people towards me or another human being... No more tears in this miserable world.
I am beginning to sound different.
Lots of reason why. Just don't bother asking because I am just wondering, what will happen tomorrow if today was a good and a bad day at the same time. It is called a SUDDEN MOOD SWING. Almost like sudden death but this is a mood swing. I was feeling great having a beautiful time of my life but now, it feels like nothing seem right. It all seems dark.
Owh well. LIFE. People tend to REGRET at the end of the day when they know they lose something that is VALUABLE in their lives the way M did! :)
*taunting away* I won a battle. I won a battle... and at the same time... did I win another? Or did I lose? I don't know. Seriously. I don't think I want to care. Just get out when I still can...
Yeap, that is all about it. I am hoping that KRU or someone I like would write a song about my miserable life. HAHAHA! Damn, I sound drunk, don't I? :D
